Disclaimer: This is a gross story. And frankly, it is in terrible taste. But this is what comes with raising a boy — or at least one with the genetics of Seth’s kind – so proceed with caution.
Five days ago, I cleaned all three bathrooms shelf, scrubbing sinks, toilets, tubs and floors. Two days later, while passing by “the boy’s” bathroomshelf, I smelled a strong unpleasant odor. I moved the wastebasket next to the toilet and found a BIG puddle of pee.
Did you know that as urine begins to dry, the outsides of the puddle crystalize, yet the inside portion takes on a whole other property? (Most moms with boys know this.) It is nasty, nasty, nasty! Yeah, I didn’t know that until I had a little boy with really BAD aim.
There was also a puddle behind the tank of the toilet shelfand a small amount in front of the bowl. I was PISSED. (Pun intended.)
The lack of trying within the “aiming department” is nothing new. I’ve kvetched, cajoled, and have gotten incredibly cranky before. He’s even had to clean up some of the mess a few times but that didn’t seem to bother him. Once I even told him I was going to start charging him a $1 to clean up the really nasty spills shelf. (He gets an allowance now for certain chores.). Forking over a buck didn’t bother him in the least.
So this time?
“Peeing while standing up is a privilege. And you just lost it for a week,” I said. “From now on, if you’ve got to go, you SIT on the toilet shelf– LIKE A GIRL!”
A look of horror and dread filled his face. I watched the notion sink in. The idea tortured his manly little soul.
“NNNNNooooooooooooooo,” he screamed desperately. “I’ll do better next time! I promise!”
”Pfft. I’ve heard that before,” I retorted. “I’m tired of cleaning up your messes. Its disgusting. You’ve got to pay more attention to your aim. If you can’t do that, you’ve got to sit down.”
Its been three days. Each day he asks, several times, when his “privilege” will be restored. While he IS sitting down, he still ends up “spraying” some odd places. That’s not helping his cause. I think I might tack on some extra days to his “sentence.” I hope with all my heart that someday he fathers four boys who can’t aim worth a damn and HE’s the one with bathroom shelf duty.
Just wait child. Karma! That’s all I’ve got say.
On another note, how do the rest of you moms nip this behavior in the bud?
