The Dolphins spent their bye week evaluating their 0-8 start and looking for ways to improve in the second half of the season. So, in other words, they had a lot of time off. But the team was buoyed by rumors of Rickey William's possible return to the team from a drug suspension. Insiders within the organization says Williams is working hard to get in open can, and is only about 7/10's of a second from his target 40-yard dash time of 4.20. Sources also say that Williams has been training with a grueling regimen of 7,000 squat thrusts a a day in his small workout area inside his van with the bubble window and curtains, along with some blindfolded Tibetan meditation under the tutelage of a Mr. Miagi.
"Hey, today's Dolphins need Ricky Williams like I needed Mercury Morris," says former Miami coach and current Slimfast carnival barker Don Shula. "Wait, did I just advocate Williams' return or decry it? I'm not sure. All I know is that Commissioner Roger Goodell would have to pretty stoned himself to allow Ricky back. But Roger's been meeting with so many drug fiends lately that the second-hand effects have to be getting to him. But he's a man of reason and intelligence. As am I. Say what you will, but should the Patriots go 19-0, I firmly believe that their season would have to be classified as 'tainted' in the wake of the 'Spygate' tape scandal. Now, I know I just guaranteed that the Dolphins will get beat 64-6 in Foxboro in Week 16 by saying that, but I have to speak my mind. Mind you, it wouldn't be the first thing to be 'tainted' in New England this year. I hear that the 'tainted' is the house specialty at the waxing spa Tom Brady's flame Giselle Bundchen frequents in Foxboro."
The Bills have won three in a row and are 4-4 in the AFC East, second to the 9-0 Patriots. Two of those losses were by one point to the Broncos and Cowboys; their two other losses were to the Patriots and Steelers.
