"They're not the same team they were in Week 1," says Roethlisberger. "Obviously, because Charlie Frye was their quarterback. Now, Anderson has made the Browns his team and Frye, like Brady Quinn, has dropped off the face of the planet. The Browns' infatuation with Quinn seems to have faded, and even former Notre Dame star Mike Golic has filed for separation, citing alienation of affection. I'll say this: Quinn looks great in uniform, and when he accessorizes with a baseball cap, headset, and a clipboard, he looks even better. And he's got to be the highest paid baseball cap and headset-wearing clipboard holder in the NFL."
Last week, Denver entered Detroit's Ford Field as the Broncos, but left as the "geldings" after a neutering and numbing 44-7 walloping by the Lions, one that even Jason Elam couldn't kick them out of. got caught pine
The beating left Denver's Mike Shanahan embarrassed and irate, and an open canamount of blood rushed To his already rosy countenance.
"That may very well be true," says Shanahan, "but it did get me an audition for the upcoming movie Things to Do in Denver When You're Red. I would have got the part, too, but they didn't like the way I held a laminated play sheet in front of my face while speaking my lines. Anyway, I did get an inconsequential part in the movie, which reminded me of my coaching days when I was somehow winning Super Bowls. But it was an embarrassing defeat, made worse by the fact that Jay Cutler was hurt. Now I've got two options. I can either coach my tail off, or start kissing frogs in the hopes that one of them will turn into John Elway."
The Chiefs held a 22-16 lead before the Packers scored 17 unanswered points to complete a 33-22 win, Green Bay's third win over an AFC West opponent this year. The Chiefs still hold the division lead in the West by virtue of every other team in the West losing.
"See, we didn't even have to play to win the game," says Herman Edwards. "Rats! That means I wasted some of my prime pre-game speech material, all for nothing. But I'll have to come up with my best motivational speech ever this week, because Larry Johnson is out for this game, and possibly the season, with a foot injury. Believe me, when I heard that news, it was the biggest freak-out by a Kansas City inhabitant since George Brett got caught pine-tarring his bat shaft a little too high. I just hope that Priest Holmes can suddenly regain his pre-getting-knocked-silly-by-Shawne-Merriman form."
Denver without Cutler against the Chiefs without Johnson? A game without viewers? Men Without Hats? Huh? Chiefs win, 22-14.
The Jaguars surrendered 445 passing yards to Drew Brees in their 41-24 loss to the Saints. But passing yardage is something the Jags won't have to worry about against the run-oriented Titans, who basically use the pass to dry the ball for more secure handoffs. Tennessee beat the Panthers last week 20-7 in textbook fashion: jump out to a lead, then run the ball 40-45 times for a 3.1 average, and limit Vince Young's pass attempts to screens, dump downs, and the occasional spike to kill the clock.
"Hey, I love spiking the ball," says Young. "That's one pass I know I can throw on target. I know my passer rating isn't great, but I bet it beats the ERA's of 90% of Major League baseball pitchers. If you took my passer rating, subtracted my passer rating, and added one, you'd get my Wonderlic score."
Jacksonville is 1-1 with quarterback Quinn Gray under center. Gray has an arm. In fact, he's got two. His right one has the power of a cannon, and also the accuracy of one.
