I'm even missing the beauty in my flaws! If I find beauty in the natural state of the earth in every grain of sand and dirt then why can't I find it in my perfectly natural zits? They're a part of me and like constellations in the sky if I ever get bored I can play dot to dot. My one eye that drifts off to the side? Why be symmetrical? I want to be crooked and odd. My overtly pale complexion? Well, if people want to keep telling me that I look sickly I'll just have to point out that it would be sicker of me to try and coverup my natural tone with powders and creams like the rest of the populace. At least I don't have nasty chemicals seeping into my pores and rotting over night. Bleh.
So, I will no longer look into that make up mirror. I can see my beauty well enough in the make up mirrorof my heart and in the reflection of my writing or the reactions I get from those I show my true side to. I don't need to look to brush my teeth and my hairs too short to do much with anyway's. I don't need makeupand who needs a make upmirrorfor much more than that? Not me. So, I am vowing as of this moment that I will do my best not to look into the make upmirrorof what society wants as well as my own make up mirroruntil I have spent appropriate time appreciating the beauty around and within me.
Now and then when I walk past a make up mirrorI'll get caught by my reflection. People have told me I'm pretty but like most my gender- I have to see it for myself before I believe it. So, I walk up to the make up mirror and sometimes I'll just stand there for a bit and pick out all the things wrong. I have horridly crooked teeth, slightly stained. My lazy eye drifts more often than not. I'm way too pale and I have zits. In these moments this is horrible to me and I dislike it so much but as soon as I look away from the make up mirror I'm fine. I like how I look, but I do not like to look at my flaws. All the same, I do not wear makeup. Never have, never will, unless I'm bored and want to play dress up (yeah, it happens even at 19).
Sometimes in these moments when I can't help but look at natural and normal human flaws I'll look to my eyes. Dark circles and these little red veins from straining and not wearing my glasses but I don't notice them. I love my eyes, they're one of the few features I can't complain about. I just love the shape and the colors. :) Well, I sat there for a moment and then a thought struck me. I say struck in the literal sense. It just came out of nowhere and beat me in the head- and for that I am thankful.
Why look for beauty in my face when there is already too much in the world I'm missing? To clarify: There is so much beauty in the world. Be it in the trees, the rivers, the snow, the very earth herself, or in the simple act of writing I enjoy so much. Be it in the childlike play of my cat children, or the soft lips of my special someone. Be it in my eyes or in my heart- beauty is everywhere and those few moments I spend in front of the make up mirror picking out all those supposed 'flaws' and moments that I'm letting it all pass me by.
There are so many beautiful people in this world and most of them don't even know it because they are blinded by these evil contraptions. I have placed towels over mine. It's a little odd right now but I'll get over it. I don't really need to know what I look like. In fact the more I know the more self conscious I am so if I don't know then I can walk with a little more confidence. If I can walk with confidence then I can spread it to those around me.
