I was just assaulted by a toothbrush. We had some weakling Colgate electric brushes that Sean bought. When they gave up the plaque fighting after only a week, I asked Sean if he reached to the back of the shelffor them. "No, I grabbed the first pack on the shelf." And that, my friends, is why you don't let men buy electric toothbrushes. Women know that everyone tests the first set of electric anythings on the shelf. You should always reach at least two or three deep when buying things with exposed, "test me" buttons!
He comes trotting out to the car last night, "I got us some new toothbrushes." What?! The dead ones were brand new, just needed new batteries! Anyways, he bought Oral Bs this time and reached to the back of the shelf. These toothbrushes are killer. Not like, killer cool, like killer rip your teeth from their roots and smack them against the bathroom mirrorkiller. I made the mistake of turning it on, fully loaded without placing it in my mouth first. I got toothpaste all over the place. Not just in a continuous line across the bathroom mirror, but in a cross pattern as these toothbrushes scrub in multiple directions, not just up and down.
I like to move around as I brush. Multi-task, come back for a spit, then back to multi-tasking. Nope. With these, I have to hover over the sink and turn the thing off between spits. Not only that, I can't even look at myself in the mirrorwhile I brush. It makes my image vibrate. I can feel the pulses of the toothbrush jiggling my eye sockets. It's quite the toothbrush.
OMGosh, why didn't someone stop me? I could delete all of that and pretend that I actually have a life, but I'll just post and let you all know the real me. The me that blathers on about a flippin' toothbrush.
