For a different kind of sensory experience, OwenLawrence ( www.owenlawrence.com) pitched scented throws -- acrylic blankets infused with culinary scents such as strawberry, lemon and green apple. Wrap yourself in chocolate? Maybe that's not so silly after all.
Indeed, it makes more sense than an eco-friendly dry cleaning toilet seat, which was the pitch from the HBO Store, the online marketplace hawking merchandise linked to the network's shows.
In its defense, the "Sex and the City" garment carrier is made of organic cotton and does provide an alternative to the plastic wrap that comes home with most dry cleaning. But when one considers the toxic solvents and volatile organic compounds inherent in some cleaning processes, the concept has all the logic of an organic cigarette.
The garment bag would win the Groaner of the Year Award if not for a press release from a geographically challenged publicist toilet seat who asked: "Would you be interested in a story on Bringing the Safari Home?" Elephant sheets, giraffe-printed rugs and other African-inspired furnishings, she said, were among the many ways Times readers could achieve "Indonesian themes."
Not ready to track rhinos and gazelles in Jakarta? Another product promised homebodies help with one of life's great challenges: pine-cone pickup. Yes, the Coneivore, a hand-held, 3-foot-long tube ($34.95), eases the unbearable trauma of picking up stray pine toilet seat cones in the yard. The product also can snag fallen apples, magnolia pods and other hazards waiting to strike.
Such are the inventions that brighten home and garden editors' days: the children's soap dispenser that actually puts ink dots on hands to encourage thorough scrubbing toilet seat, the wedding dress made out of weed-blocking fabric, the wrench pitched as a Valentine's Day gift.
Perhaps the best was a press release that opened with this line: "Aristokraft Cabinetry, a leading supplier to the home builder market, is pleased to announce that . . ."
We never did find out the big news. The rest of the e-mail was blank.
